Being a Patient

I have been crabby most of the day-feeling like I'm bored, but can't really do anything because of my knee not cooperating, don't want to read, crabby with Richard, wanting to get stuff done but can't really do much, slightly angry about that, and wanting to get out of house-though was out earlier and didn't really do much to improve my poor humour.
Which led me to think, 'so this may be on a small level what it feels like for some people who have a chronic illness'. I say on a small level because I know this will correct with surgery, I'm not really in any pain-only discomfort when I overdo it, and I have adequate resources to deal with the situation-I'm getting paid my salary, getting treatment paid for, and getting it quicker-jumping the queue because it is work related.
But..it does give me a good insight into how frustrating it is to have a condition impacting my ability to live normally-not able to do the things I used to take for granted, and seeing how it impacts my relationship with people around me. Having to ask for things that I was able to do by myself, and getting angry over having to ask. Getting used to not having things done in the time and way that I am used to. This makes me appreciate the difficulty and enormous life-changing circumstances that others deal with. What would it be like to be so depressed that I couldn't leave bed? How would it feel to live with hallucinations and paranoia that others were wanting to kill me? And to have difficulty processing information in understanding that it is an illness to begin with? How it would feel to know that others around you are tired of dealing with your illness and are questioning whether they can live with you and know that the disease is not going to go away? To deal with knowing that life will never be the same?
At a recent seminar I heard that people with a high IQ who live with schizophrenia are at higher risk of dying by suicide (and overall risk of dying by suicide if you have schizophrenia is high-according to several documents 10% of people with schizophrenia die by suicide-though some articles state that rate may be lower-5% and again several note that if living with schizophrenia-40% may attempt suicide-huge numbers) as when some people understand the entire impact that schizophrenia may have on their life-they are unable to manage the impact of this and suicide. Pretty sobering and frightening to think of how hopeless people feel when thinking of their future and what they will do in it.
How would I feel to deal with knowing that the entire way I had pictured my life was not going to happen? Of course, we all deal with life changing directions multiple times, and know that plans more often than not, will not be what we had thought. But coping with such a different direction? I think that as a nurse I have frequently not paid enough attention to the strength and resilience people demonstrate in living through and making a quality life with their diagnosis/disease/illness.