So, sitting on the bed today I again threw my knee out. While putting on my knee brace, turned slightly on bed, pop from the knee, can't weight bear again. So, this is an interesting situation-what is it like to be a patient? Go to GP, who kindly fits me in within 1/2 hour. Refers me to ER, as still haven't heard back from orthopedic referral-going to ER results in quicker referral process. Richard is wheeling me around in wheelchair, as other option is to hop everywhere. I go through triage process, surprisingly, I am seen by ER Dr. and out of hospital by 1 pm, after getting there at 1130. Amazing, I kind of think-given about hearing about long time spent in ER and I knew this wasn't a serious thing-as in losing a limb, heart attack kind of thing. Now I have referral to orthopedic clinic for Tues. and am on crutches. Which of course, means I can't work. On the whole, it felt like I certainly got quick, effective treatment. I have to say though, that I think people responded slightly differently knowing that I work at hospital-a bit warmer, this may be just my perception and not accurate though. Plus, having a claim makes it quicker, and I don't think it was all that busy there today. I feel kind of embarrassed about being a patient-it does feel like I am putting people out. Not to mention how I feel about being off of work-as I am supposed to work this weekend- I wish I could just go and do something there, but seeing as how even navigating the house is problematic, I don't think it is an option.
On a positive note-the previous owners of the house had a grab bar in the bathroom-for the grandpa who was living with them. This has already come in handy.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Mediocrity
Did I spell that right?
I have been thinking of the pressure there is to conform within workplaces. How it is difficult to be somewhat different in your approach and do the things that you think are best practice-even though others don't practice in that way. Not that I mean to imply that I am perfect, sadly fall far short of that, but how to continue doing things in what I believe is the right way, while still maintaining a collegial relationship. This can be a difficult thing. We all want to feel like our way is the best and it is difficult to get differing opinions. I know when someone approaches me and says 'oh, have you thought of this?' or 'oops, you missed this', I feel like defending myself, even if I think, 'yeah, you're right'. Hopefully, I don't appear defensive, but pretty sure I have-it is difficult to accept that though I want to never make a mistake dealing with people's health, I'm human = human error.
All that being said, I hope that I don't become complacent and stagnant and start coming to work on autopilot-pretty sure is kiss of death for patient care.
Yet there is a human urge to stay within the safety of the pack and not do anything to stand out, good or bad. So, you don't want to screw up and be eaten by the pack of lions, but neither do you want to come up with a new way of doing something, get the rest of the herd irritated with you, reject you, and still end up being eaten by the lions. Don't know if that analogy makes total sense, but general idea is there.
Given that I am Type A personality with job performance-my internal alarm clock goes off if I act in a way that I believe to not be 'good enough'. I end up being riddled with anxiety if I do something that isn't the right/proper way. And going home feeling that I have let down my value system is a much harder thing for me than going home feeling like I have pissed someone off because I refused to do something that I feel is wrong. Hmmm, perhaps this gives me an understanding of other people's motivation? If others find more value in being part of group, and see the emotional value of belonging as more valuable than acting according to less emotional, more idea focussed value systems, then it makes sense to be a part of group as their internal anxiety will increase when not part of it, just as my internal anxiety increases when feeling like I am not living up to being good enough.
I have been thinking of the pressure there is to conform within workplaces. How it is difficult to be somewhat different in your approach and do the things that you think are best practice-even though others don't practice in that way. Not that I mean to imply that I am perfect, sadly fall far short of that, but how to continue doing things in what I believe is the right way, while still maintaining a collegial relationship. This can be a difficult thing. We all want to feel like our way is the best and it is difficult to get differing opinions. I know when someone approaches me and says 'oh, have you thought of this?' or 'oops, you missed this', I feel like defending myself, even if I think, 'yeah, you're right'. Hopefully, I don't appear defensive, but pretty sure I have-it is difficult to accept that though I want to never make a mistake dealing with people's health, I'm human = human error.
All that being said, I hope that I don't become complacent and stagnant and start coming to work on autopilot-pretty sure is kiss of death for patient care.
Yet there is a human urge to stay within the safety of the pack and not do anything to stand out, good or bad. So, you don't want to screw up and be eaten by the pack of lions, but neither do you want to come up with a new way of doing something, get the rest of the herd irritated with you, reject you, and still end up being eaten by the lions. Don't know if that analogy makes total sense, but general idea is there.
Given that I am Type A personality with job performance-my internal alarm clock goes off if I act in a way that I believe to not be 'good enough'. I end up being riddled with anxiety if I do something that isn't the right/proper way. And going home feeling that I have let down my value system is a much harder thing for me than going home feeling like I have pissed someone off because I refused to do something that I feel is wrong. Hmmm, perhaps this gives me an understanding of other people's motivation? If others find more value in being part of group, and see the emotional value of belonging as more valuable than acting according to less emotional, more idea focussed value systems, then it makes sense to be a part of group as their internal anxiety will increase when not part of it, just as my internal anxiety increases when feeling like I am not living up to being good enough.
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